Lent Status Update

Thus far my facebook fast is going pretty well, though there were a few days this week where I felt like Cathy, the girl in the comic strip, freaking out with little drops of sweat flying around while wishing I could log on. I have stuff to say, and it's tough when you don't get to throw it into a status update when that's been the norm. Ugh.

But for the most part, it's been a nice break. It's peaceful to not have a stream of photos scrolling by multiple times a day. Also, I never know what all I will find on there Sunday (the feast day when I can check it.) I feel like I am getting away with eating lots of candy on Sundays. I also confess I had to sneak peeks sometimes--I needed a mailing address for a friend, etc. It's hard to cut it off completely, so I am not totally legalistic about it.

Thankfully, life goes on...I do stuff. I see people. The weather has turned sunny. And of course I have event invites emailed so I'm not really missing out. I hope no one thinks I am shunning them but remembers I am not on there much right now. I am probably a bit more productive. I still have a lot on my to-do list and not enough time (or I feel that way), but there isn't this constant option of checking in. If only I wanted to compulsively clean my kitchen with the free time!

Digital Life—Decluttering Time

Gentle reader, I'm giving up facebook for Lent, except feast days (Sundays). I am not sure this is totally needed—I don't think God is asking me to be less social, nor do I think online isolation is somehow a great idea or even virtuous. But I have noticed that I have a lot of not-so-exciting tasks to get done, and facebook is an easy go-to when I'm already seated in from of my laptop. Instead of dealing with a long put-off project or filing bills (blech), it's easier to jump on fb, and whoosh, there goes the time. Even when it comes to decluttering—whether it's a routine mail sort or finally posting those old slide-rules on eBay, I have opted to get on fb or cruise online articles. When I have decided to stay off fb for the rest of the day (which is a rare commitment), I've noticed that I have a better sense of what to do next, e.g. fold the laundry that's sitting on the chair. For me, getting on fb can stop the flow of my day if I check it too much. It's an interruption and sidetracker.

I remember a few years ago a friend told me her office receptionist was on facebook so often, she completely gave it up because it sucked up so much time, even at work. I have seriously considered leaving facebook two or three times, deleting most of my photos and messages, getting ready for a grand exit. A few years ago I even announced it was imminent. But I couldn't quite pull the trigger because I would miss out on hearing little comments from two or three old friends from out of state. Without fb, I felt they would practically disappear from my life. Would we really bother to email or call each other? After all, a lot folks now see catch up phone calls as a once-a-year event, if that. Fear of disconnection, which is a valid fear, kept me from deleting my account.

I must confess I gave fb up for Lent maybe four years ago, before using it was so entrenched in my daily life. Before my friends and acquaintances seemed as plugged in as well. It was a bit tough, but I found the decision to fast from it much less uncomfortable.

So what's to be done? Some folks can use fb sparingly and responsibly. Maybe it's like knowing how to avoid overeating. All I know is, once I announced I was going to stay off during Lent, I felt a sense of isolation! Again, not that God was asking me to do that, but I am asking myself to deal with chores and maintain a better focus as I go about my day. I also had to jump on to make sure event invites would be emailed to me—that's a major fear of not being on fb: missing a party or event. So now I am all set up. And if I want to feel social, I guess I'll have to actually reach out and be social. We'll see if this fb fast is a good idea—if it's really in the vein of a spiritual practice, I should also add a positive practice that brings me closer to God. Perhaps that way I'll feel I am gaining more than just checking items off my to-do list.  

Facebook Clutter?

I've had a love/hate relationship with facebook for years. Call it my paranoid streak, but I don't trust a 20-something with that much personal data.


Still, facebook has given me many happy hours and fun conversations, shared links and photos, messages, etc. For a long time it served its purpose in my life and allowed me to keep up with people.


But this year, I've really hit a weird spot--and I've started to see it as clutter.


Facebook makes a LOT of sense if you truly use it to communicate with people you either frequently see or it becomes a major way of staying in touch with important folks far away. Yet I've noticed that lately, my most important communications are taking place off facebook, and when I really need to hear from someone, it's not done through FB. If I have a need, I need to call or maybe email...FB is not the main way to communicate in my closest circle of friends.


So that means FB is more about lighter connections for me, usually, and those are not connections I need to view every single day. That doesn't mean that my friends' or aquaintances' updates and news are clutter in and of themselves, but with that newsfeed running and running on a daily basis, it's all starting to run together. And it's hard to see what's urgent or important when there's just so much text going and going...it has become clutter. Especially in the visual sense.


I'm sure FB has lots of high-priority information for circles that use it to keep in touch, but for me, on a day when I really need to hear from a friend, my post/update can get lost in the shuffle. A friend recently said to me,  "Oh, if I had seen that you wanted encouragement that day, I would have said something. I must have missed it." As I shared my frustration with a few friends, I started hearing that others too had been a bit hurt of miffed that their comments or photos didn't warrant comments. But, to be fair, we are all so barraged with updates and photos, it is hard to keep up...and the only solution I can think of is to directly reach out to those who we need to connect with--a status update is not guaranteed two-way communication. No one is really obligated to reply as in a real conversation.


I took almost a month off facebook and can tell you it looked the same when I went back--if something urgent or amazing had happened, I wasn't going to find it amidst all the typical newsfeed stuff anyways. I don't know when I'll deactivate again, and I do plan to just delete someday, but the main thing I've learned is that in this phase of my life, facebook is no longer a major "social utility" that I need. I've also heard of people quitting due to similar frustrations as well as freaking out that it was sucking up so much of their time. At least for the visual clutter, perhaps FB needs a feng shui master to consult with them? Maybe that's what the timeline update is going for.


The irony is that if I wanted more action on this blog, I could get it if I posted it on facebook. What a pickle, eh? I'll hold off for a while...it's fun to "live off the grid" and see what happens.