I've had a love/hate relationship with facebook for years. Call it my paranoid streak, but I don't trust a 20-something with that much personal data.
Still, facebook has given me many happy hours and fun conversations, shared links and photos, messages, etc. For a long time it served its purpose in my life and allowed me to keep up with people.
But this year, I've really hit a weird spot--and I've started to see it as clutter.
Facebook makes a LOT of sense if you truly use it to communicate with people you either frequently see or it becomes a major way of staying in touch with important folks far away. Yet I've noticed that lately, my most important communications are taking place off facebook, and when I really need to hear from someone, it's not done through FB. If I have a need, I need to call or maybe email...FB is not the main way to communicate in my closest circle of friends.
So that means FB is more about lighter connections for me, usually, and those are not connections I need to view every single day. That doesn't mean that my friends' or aquaintances' updates and news are clutter in and of themselves, but with that newsfeed running and running on a daily basis, it's all starting to run together. And it's hard to see what's urgent or important when there's just so much text going and going...it has become clutter. Especially in the visual sense.
I'm sure FB has lots of high-priority information for circles that use it to keep in touch, but for me, on a day when I really need to hear from a friend, my post/update can get lost in the shuffle. A friend recently said to me, "Oh, if I had seen that you wanted encouragement that day, I would have said something. I must have missed it." As I shared my frustration with a few friends, I started hearing that others too had been a bit hurt of miffed that their comments or photos didn't warrant comments. But, to be fair, we are all so barraged with updates and photos, it is hard to keep up...and the only solution I can think of is to directly reach out to those who we need to connect with--a status update is not guaranteed two-way communication. No one is really obligated to reply as in a real conversation.
I took almost a month off facebook and can tell you it looked the same when I went back--if something urgent or amazing had happened, I wasn't going to find it amidst all the typical newsfeed stuff anyways. I don't know when I'll deactivate again, and I do plan to just delete someday, but the main thing I've learned is that in this phase of my life, facebook is no longer a major "social utility" that I need. I've also heard of people quitting due to similar frustrations as well as freaking out that it was sucking up so much of their time. At least for the visual clutter, perhaps FB needs a feng shui master to consult with them? Maybe that's what the timeline update is going for.
The irony is that if I wanted more action on this blog, I could get it if I posted it on facebook. What a pickle, eh? I'll hold off for a while...it's fun to "live off the grid" and see what happens.
Friday, March 30, 2012
Thursday, March 29, 2012
No Finger Pointing with Feng Shui
I'm going to delay a bit in talking about the kitchen and memories of my mother...instead, I was thinking today about feng shui and why it's an alluring philosophy for cleaning up one's act. It hit me: it's completely out of the schema of family and friends telling us to clean up.
I am not particularly into Eastern philosophies, though I do some middle-of-the-road yoga. I sorta kinda believe spaces have energy. We are sensory beings, and sensory overload stresses me out at some point, just as a lovely, airy space brings peace. So yes, there's some "energetic" quality to spaces. Aesthetics matter and impact our feelings.
Focusing on aesthetics and "energy" (emotional response?) helps "detoxify" the negative feelings toward organizing. I read a basic feng shui book by Mary Lambert and while I don't believe everything in it, reading that book felt so freeing. If organizing is based on space, flow, chi, etc. then cleaning up gets depersonalized and framed in a new way. Kind of a superstitious way, but it's a fresh approach with no baggage and lots of promise to help me directly. When it's not about disapproval and the shoulds, it becomes more about benefiting me and my household. That is pretty darn shame-free. No family voices, no grumpy roommates, no societal expectations of what women should be doing in the home. Just a motivation to be more functional, peaceful, and self-sufficient.
Reading Lambert's book, I loved the idea of decluttering as "moving on," which is so key when dealing with estate clutter. Out of everything in that book, that concept comforts and motivates me the most. Saying "it's okay to move on" makes it easier to let go of items and boosts my energy level. It also alerts me that I am doing something difficult--sometimes it feels good to move on, but sometimes it brings grief. But moving on will happen, even if it needs to be in spurts. I also became aware that I wasn't always sure it was okay to move on--so I learned more about myself and past habits. (Turns out I am pretty sentimental.)
As for feng shui itself, I don't believe specific furniture arrangements will bring good luck into my life, but I do believe freeing up space will help me stay on top of paperwork, not trip on something in the dark hall, etc. Instead of just doing a chore, I am helping myself out. And aesthetically, it just looks and feels better. Perhaps feng shui entices the clutterer to have internal motivation to get organized, rather than calling attention to outside forces from the past or present. They say wanting something for yourself is the key to changing a habit, so I'll take the motivations I like from feng shui and leave the rest.
I am not particularly into Eastern philosophies, though I do some middle-of-the-road yoga. I sorta kinda believe spaces have energy. We are sensory beings, and sensory overload stresses me out at some point, just as a lovely, airy space brings peace. So yes, there's some "energetic" quality to spaces. Aesthetics matter and impact our feelings.
Focusing on aesthetics and "energy" (emotional response?) helps "detoxify" the negative feelings toward organizing. I read a basic feng shui book by Mary Lambert and while I don't believe everything in it, reading that book felt so freeing. If organizing is based on space, flow, chi, etc. then cleaning up gets depersonalized and framed in a new way. Kind of a superstitious way, but it's a fresh approach with no baggage and lots of promise to help me directly. When it's not about disapproval and the shoulds, it becomes more about benefiting me and my household. That is pretty darn shame-free. No family voices, no grumpy roommates, no societal expectations of what women should be doing in the home. Just a motivation to be more functional, peaceful, and self-sufficient.
Reading Lambert's book, I loved the idea of decluttering as "moving on," which is so key when dealing with estate clutter. Out of everything in that book, that concept comforts and motivates me the most. Saying "it's okay to move on" makes it easier to let go of items and boosts my energy level. It also alerts me that I am doing something difficult--sometimes it feels good to move on, but sometimes it brings grief. But moving on will happen, even if it needs to be in spurts. I also became aware that I wasn't always sure it was okay to move on--so I learned more about myself and past habits. (Turns out I am pretty sentimental.)
As for feng shui itself, I don't believe specific furniture arrangements will bring good luck into my life, but I do believe freeing up space will help me stay on top of paperwork, not trip on something in the dark hall, etc. Instead of just doing a chore, I am helping myself out. And aesthetically, it just looks and feels better. Perhaps feng shui entices the clutterer to have internal motivation to get organized, rather than calling attention to outside forces from the past or present. They say wanting something for yourself is the key to changing a habit, so I'll take the motivations I like from feng shui and leave the rest.
Monday, March 26, 2012
Kitchen Update...Decluttering and Shopping?
I received an emphatic email from my second cousin saying I simply must get my own dishes. He recommends I keep 'em about ten years or so, and if you have kids, let them ding them up. Then you move on. I don't have much time to post, but I will say I did eye some dishes this weekend. The were (gasp!) square. Whoa. (I was shopping at Kohl's and didn't realize they sold kitchenware.) And while I don't know how old the inherited dishes are, they are at least 8, if not older. I like rules that give me more permission to spend money. If you're gonna say I need to, then what can I do?
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Green Guilt and Recycling Hangers and Electronics...
My declutter extravaganza continues, and of course I suffer from Green Guilt. In order to keep stuff out of the trash, here are some more local recycling tips--the hangers one is new to me. Guilt-free feng-shui!
Gobs of Wire Hangers Should Go to the Cleaners
Got a bunch of wire hangers you don't need? Don't trash them! Austin dry cleaners will take them and recycle them. Who knew?
Electronics Clutter
My older tip: If you have electronic trash, i.e. dead laptop and cell phone batteries, old Earthlink CDs, CD cases, cords, etc., your local Best Buy has a recycle drop near the entrance.
Regular household batteries need to go to the Hazardous Waste center, the same place you take paint and other chemicals. See http://www.austintexas.gov/department/austin-resource-recovery for more recycling info. (Doesn't resource recovery sound like a rehab center?)
Gobs of Wire Hangers Should Go to the Cleaners
Got a bunch of wire hangers you don't need? Don't trash them! Austin dry cleaners will take them and recycle them. Who knew?
Electronics Clutter
My older tip: If you have electronic trash, i.e. dead laptop and cell phone batteries, old Earthlink CDs, CD cases, cords, etc., your local Best Buy has a recycle drop near the entrance.
Regular household batteries need to go to the Hazardous Waste center, the same place you take paint and other chemicals. See http://www.austintexas.gov/department/austin-resource-recovery for more recycling info. (Doesn't resource recovery sound like a rehab center?)
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Letting Go of Books, False Guilt, and Fears of Jericho
As I said in my first post ages ago, I am still digging through a few generations of clutter along with my own. The great archeological dig through my deceased relatives' stuff continues, but now I am spending 50% of my energy on my own stuff--bum bum bum! No one to blame but myself if I don't like having this stuff around.
It's Spring Break and I have time to spend on those little (big) nagging projects, and tonight I decided to check the shelves and tables in my bedroom, where I obviously keep my own books. And as I sat trying to understand why it's hard for me to let go of my own books, I realized I had a couple things going on: guilt and "the shoulds."
I think I learned about "shoulding" from the Fly Lady. Yes, there are things you should and must do in life, but false guilt and obligations are just yucky, icky motivations that pose as "shoulds." And I was "shoulding" over my books, as in, "You should read that shiny Jennifer Weiner book again--you bought it, and you enjoyed it before, even though the mystery plot was weak." Or, "That John Eldredge book had some great spiritual lesson. If you don't read it again, you won't remember what wonderful thing it taught you!" (Religious shoulding is the worst.) I've known about false guilt for years, but having guilt and fear over my own books is a bit much.
When I was younger, I was more attached to my books, but with the internet, my awesome public library, and Netflix, I have constant access to information and entertainment. Yes, these things change my decisions on whether I want to keep a book, as well as if I really should in a healthy sense. I also sometimes think if Armageddon comes and I can't get to the library or get a TV signal, then yes, I will want all those books because I'll be bored and poor. I guess I need to live on faith that I'll have enough books left to keep me entertained if things go the way of Jericho, that show where the U.S. gets nuked. I'll be busy farming in the backyard anyways. Oh, the things I think of while decluttering.
I'm pretty sure Hoarders' Dr. Robin Zasio would call my outlandish fear a thought distortion. And after reading much of Dr. Zasio's book, The Hoarder in You, I can recognize how my thinking is similar to my relatives' who went through the Great Depression. I recommend her book if you inherited some mess and/or are fighting your own clutter tendencies. It's definitely helped me this week as I attacked areas of my home--it sheds light on mindsets that get your relatives and you into trouble. Clearly the fear of scarcity, along with false guilt, take up both mental and physical space. As Dr. Zasio says, if you are already fighting clutter and needing space, it's okay to let go of an item of value if it's just not valuable enough to you anymore. Fair enough.
I've decided to ask myself these questions as I purge the shelves:
Do I love this book?
Will I read it again?
Do I have weird should/guilt feelings about it?
Am I okay with giving it away to the library or another charity?
Will someone else get more pleasure from it at this time?
Is it worth the space it takes up?
Wish me luck.
HOT LOCAL TIP: If you have hard-to-give-away books, e.g. several yearbooks from the 1950s and 1960s, Austin's Recycled Reads will sell them or responsibly recycle them. Hurrah! You can try to sell yearbooks online, but I noticed most vendors are just selling reprints, not actual old books that are all signed up.
It's Spring Break and I have time to spend on those little (big) nagging projects, and tonight I decided to check the shelves and tables in my bedroom, where I obviously keep my own books. And as I sat trying to understand why it's hard for me to let go of my own books, I realized I had a couple things going on: guilt and "the shoulds."
I think I learned about "shoulding" from the Fly Lady. Yes, there are things you should and must do in life, but false guilt and obligations are just yucky, icky motivations that pose as "shoulds." And I was "shoulding" over my books, as in, "You should read that shiny Jennifer Weiner book again--you bought it, and you enjoyed it before, even though the mystery plot was weak." Or, "That John Eldredge book had some great spiritual lesson. If you don't read it again, you won't remember what wonderful thing it taught you!" (Religious shoulding is the worst.) I've known about false guilt for years, but having guilt and fear over my own books is a bit much.
When I was younger, I was more attached to my books, but with the internet, my awesome public library, and Netflix, I have constant access to information and entertainment. Yes, these things change my decisions on whether I want to keep a book, as well as if I really should in a healthy sense. I also sometimes think if Armageddon comes and I can't get to the library or get a TV signal, then yes, I will want all those books because I'll be bored and poor. I guess I need to live on faith that I'll have enough books left to keep me entertained if things go the way of Jericho, that show where the U.S. gets nuked. I'll be busy farming in the backyard anyways. Oh, the things I think of while decluttering.
I'm pretty sure Hoarders' Dr. Robin Zasio would call my outlandish fear a thought distortion. And after reading much of Dr. Zasio's book, The Hoarder in You, I can recognize how my thinking is similar to my relatives' who went through the Great Depression. I recommend her book if you inherited some mess and/or are fighting your own clutter tendencies. It's definitely helped me this week as I attacked areas of my home--it sheds light on mindsets that get your relatives and you into trouble. Clearly the fear of scarcity, along with false guilt, take up both mental and physical space. As Dr. Zasio says, if you are already fighting clutter and needing space, it's okay to let go of an item of value if it's just not valuable enough to you anymore. Fair enough.
I've decided to ask myself these questions as I purge the shelves:
Do I love this book?
Will I read it again?
Do I have weird should/guilt feelings about it?
Am I okay with giving it away to the library or another charity?
Will someone else get more pleasure from it at this time?
Is it worth the space it takes up?
Wish me luck.
HOT LOCAL TIP: If you have hard-to-give-away books, e.g. several yearbooks from the 1950s and 1960s, Austin's Recycled Reads will sell them or responsibly recycle them. Hurrah! You can try to sell yearbooks online, but I noticed most vendors are just selling reprints, not actual old books that are all signed up.
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