Welcome to the Blog--Again!

If you're visiting this blog for the first time, welcome! Please check out the archives for what you might be looking for. I spent years decluttering all kinds of things from multiple late relatives, two who grew up during The Great Depression. Post topics range from green decluttering to forgiveness to grief to facing your own clutter. At one point, I hired a professional organizer to help with a garage full of my relatives' things plus some other rooms full of their boxes I inherited. (It was worth having help--her brain worked in a way mine just didn't.) I've tried a lot of things and hope you'll find something helpful here. Some people come here from the Children of Hoarders site, which looks like it has an amazing wealth of information.

These days, I am mostly in the mode of dealing with my own items and trying to find sustainable routines to keep my own things from becoming disorganized. I still have some weird items hanging around, waiting for me to deal with them, like an antique family farm scythe (pretty sure it's from a grandparent's childhood farm) that I guess can go to Goodwill if not to some happy recipient at a family reunion. I have a collectible Edgar Rice Burroughs book (SO not feminist) that I mean to sell for maybe $10, yet I keep putting it off. I will need to let Half Price Books give me a piddly bid and just be done with the task hanging over my head.

As far as resources, I've been enjoying some videos and podcasts by Dana K. White at A Slob Comes Clean. The way her mind works makes sense to me, and she shows cluttered areas that look familiar.

Last night I heard a great 2016 interview on the Psychology in Seattle podcast with an expert on hoarding, Dr. Jennifer Sampson. She had some great insights about why the hoarding TV show's processes usually don't work long term; she also provided a lot of information that I hadn't already heard, and she seemed to have a lot of compassion for those who suffer from this disorder. I loved her and host Dr. Kirk Honda talking about her wanting to hold on to good boxes and packaging--I get it!

Hearing her interview reminded me that I needed to put up a welcome post for anyone stopping by my blog for the first time. One of the most powerful things she said was that hoarding disorder is much like an addiction--people are in recovery long term. I hope you are finding lots of help and support if you are on the journey, whether you had/have relatives facing this disorder and/or struggle with it yourself. As Dr. Sampson pointed out, more people than we realize have too much stuff, and it affects our lives in ongoing and sometimes major ways.

My French professor said...

Not much decluttering to report over here...January is not a bang-up time for clearing stuff out. I was thinking about books today and something my French professor said: "The more books you have, the fewer you read." Well, that might sound like simple math, but I think of that often now. I own a LOT of books, still haven't read several, and I check out numerous books at the library. Right now I have more library books than I will read in three weeks--especially given that I am more likely to watch TV than spend hours reading each night. But there's something nice about having those titles onhand. Will I read the Jennifer Weiner novel with bleh reviews? Probably not. But I like that it's ready on my coffee table should I decide to try. I will definitely crack open Mindy Kaling's Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? I read a page in the bookstore and laughed out loud. I even got ambitious and checked out Lolita because a professor referenced it so much and I feel like I should have read it by now. The odds? Not great that I'll squeeze it in this month. The library won't like to know I'm overbooking books--ha ha. But I have good intentions. And mad props to our library for having such a great selection. I wonder if they really think I'm reading all these.

I remember deliberately reading one book at a time growing up--it seemed chaotic and disorienting to jump around unless school required it. And I read a lot more fiction for pleasure back then. Today I might jump in and out of different books, and it does take longer to get through them. I'm sure there's some wisdom to be had in focusing on one title at a time...but I don't want to get legalistic and judgey either. Just like jumping in and out of text online, I'm probably typical in wanting to get some book info here, some there, and then check my email. I do miss the days of reading for an hour or more on my bed in high school and having a sense of order to my reading. Today I'll focus on one title if I'm addicted to it or really love it--that's what it takes to grab my undivided attention. 

Times change, screens dominate our world, and I have more books around than ever. For now, I'll enjoy the excess. Until a stack falls on me as seen in Hoarders or the space taken up makes me angry, I'm not too anxious to spring clean the shelves.

Running around Town

Dropped off old photos at art school. Apparently a collage artist is very excited to get them. Yay! (I hope she likes cows.)

Dropped off old yearbooks and random stuff at Recycled Reads. They keep all donations out of the landfill.

Dropped off kitchen goods and tools at Foundation for the Homeless. They can  use items when people move into their own apartments.

Dropped off clothing at Goodwill.

That's a more complicated run than I'd like to do normally. I listened to The Essential Johnny Cash to keep myself happy and sane--Johnny knows how to lament while keeping you happy at the same time.  Will make next donation run simpler and just one stop.

I was thinking there's really no excuse for not giving away a surplus of items--in Austin we have so, so many good options for donations and recycling. Very grateful for that.

Will use the rest of the day for my own home maintenance and chores. Phew!

Letting Go of Books, False Guilt, and Fears of Jericho

As I said in my first post ages ago, I am still digging through a few generations of clutter along with my own. The great archeological dig through my deceased relatives' stuff continues, but now I am spending 50% of my energy on my own stuff--bum bum bum! No one to blame but myself if I don't like having this stuff around.


It's Spring Break and I have time to spend on those little (big) nagging projects, and tonight I decided to check the shelves and tables in my bedroom, where I obviously keep my own books. And as I sat trying to understand why it's hard for me to let go of my own books, I realized I had a couple things going on: guilt and "the shoulds."


I think I learned about "shoulding" from the Fly Lady. Yes, there are things you should and must do in life, but false guilt and obligations are just yucky, icky motivations that pose as "shoulds." And I was "shoulding" over my books, as in, "You should read that shiny Jennifer Weiner book again--you bought it, and you enjoyed it before, even though the mystery plot was weak." Or, "That John Eldredge book had some great spiritual lesson. If you don't read it again, you won't remember what wonderful thing it taught you!" (Religious shoulding is the worst.) I've known about false guilt for years, but having guilt and fear over my own books is a bit much.


When I was younger, I was more attached to my books, but with the internet, my awesome public library, and Netflix, I have constant access to information and entertainment. Yes, these things change my decisions on whether I want to keep a book, as well as if I really should in a healthy sense. I also sometimes think if Armageddon comes and I can't get to the library or get a TV signal, then yes, I will want all those books because I'll be bored and poor. I guess I need to live on faith that I'll have enough books left to keep me entertained if things go the way of Jericho, that show where the U.S. gets nuked. I'll be busy farming in the backyard anyways. Oh, the things I think of while decluttering.


I'm pretty sure Hoarders' Dr. Robin Zasio would call my outlandish fear a thought distortion. And after reading much of Dr. Zasio's book, The Hoarder in You, I can recognize how my thinking is similar to my relatives' who went through the Great Depression. I recommend her book if you inherited some mess and/or are fighting your own clutter tendencies. It's definitely helped me this week as I attacked areas of my home--it sheds light on  mindsets that get your relatives and you into trouble. Clearly the fear of scarcity, along with false guilt, take up both mental and physical space. As Dr. Zasio says, if you are already fighting clutter and needing space, it's okay to let go of an item of value if it's just not valuable enough to you anymore. Fair enough.


I've decided to ask myself these questions as I purge the shelves:
Do I love this book?
Will I read it again?
Do I have weird should/guilt feelings about it?
Am I okay with giving it away to the library or another charity?
Will someone else get more pleasure from it at this time?
Is it worth the space it takes up?


Wish me luck.

HOT LOCAL TIP: If you have hard-to-give-away books, e.g. several yearbooks from the 1950s and 1960s, Austin's Recycled Reads will sell them or responsibly recycle them. Hurrah! You can try to sell yearbooks online, but I noticed most vendors are just selling reprints, not actual old books that are all signed up.

Dealing with clutter that's not only yours, or, Death and Clutter

Friends know that I have been on a journey to declutter my home, not only from my clutter but from the clutter left by my pack-rat deceased relatives. They were witty and intelligent, but they did not subscribe to feng-shui or "live simply" philosophies. My grandparents were teens during the Great Depression and never quite learned to let go of stuff. They learned to ACQUIRE and SAVE. Unfortunately my father didn't live many years beyond them, and while he made huge efforts to pare down their belongings, his own health condition stopped him from eliminating the avalanche of antiques, fishing tackle boxes, 50-year old bills, rubber bands--you name it--that they had left behind. So that left me, a thirty-something, to sort through two generations' worth of belongings and then face my own clutter tendencies that have probably been learned as a result of being in this family.


Dealing with estate clutter is different than only going through your own stuff--especially if your relatives weren't highly organized. While my relatives did do some filing and labeling, working through layers of stuff has been like an archaeological dig at times. You do need to go through things and make sure you aren't throwing out a birth certificate, your vaccination records, or some other such document. But what do you DO with all this other stuff?


If you have a sense of what you want to part with, disposing of a bunch of stuff can still be daunting. Being a thirty-something, I didn't know all my options. If you have a house full of furniture and you are going to part with much of it, first consider having an estate sale or auction. You can do this yourself or call an auction company. They will itemize your belongings and give you a sense of what things could fetch. For instance, I don't ride horses, so it made sense to auction off a saddle. An auction gets rid of things you don't want in one fell swoop and generates some money.


If you don't go the auction route, or if you still have stuff to sell, eBay can be good for high-value items when you want a national audience. However, as an eBay novice, I didn't realize that I would have to calculate shipping and packing into the price. Sometimes it's not worth the time and hassle to pack and ship items. I sold some antique glassware and a quilt, but I hated calculating packing costs. That's when I learned to go local with...


Craigslist. If you have stuff to sell and want to deal with locals, craigslist is a sure way to sell your stuff when you price it right. You won't have the benefit of competing bids, but it's a nice way to part with items on your own timeline and set your price, without hassling with the post office. You need to take photos and deal with emails, but it's usually a fast way to get your stuff out there--and it's free to list.


Consignment shops are an option, but some don't offer pick up, or if they do, they charge a fee. Make sure the fee won't negate your profits. My favorite Austin consignment shop is Next to New on Burnet Road. They use their profits for charity, and it's a very well-organized store. You can part with large furniture and all types of things, but you can't control how much money you will actually make in the end.


Why did I not bother with a garage sale? If you're Type A and good at that, go for it, but the thought of organizing and pricing a mountain of stuff was enough to send me running and screaming. You need serious skills and manpower for a sale that large. I was better off letting the experts and market price my stuff. Plus donating the rest to charity fit well with my ethics, so it all balanced out.


I've never used 1-800-GOT-JUNK, but they show up on TV, especially Hoarders. We once used an independent hauling service--I think they brought a 20-foot trailer--when we did a major sweep of the grandparents' garage. I copied the whole Keep, Sell, Donate method from Clean Sweep. It was a-ma-zing to see how much junk was packed away in a two-car garage, and so, so lovely to see the trailer drive off down the street. I tried to make sure anything not ready for the landfill was kept, sold, donated, or recycled. I cringe when I see TV show cleaners trash plastic or paper that could possibly be recycled.


If you have a large book collection, it's worth taking your stuff by a bookseller who knows his stuff. I learned that older books don't have high value unless they are in good condition. Some booksellers might take your older books if they think they can sell them, but a ratty book from 1915 is not a prized jewel. If someone thinks a book from 1915 is cool, great, but it won't be fetching a ton of money just because it's old. (Using eBay to check for value is also a great way to see what your item is worth in the marketplace. Once you've figured out which books are worth selling, you can look for places that accept book donations.) If you would like to trade old books for new titles, try the awesome paperbackswap.com and exchange your reads with folks all over the country. Note: this won't actually reduce clutter.


Donating
All of the above methods take some work on your part in order to get money. If you're ready to part with stuff without paying the price of time, posting, etc. then charitable donations are the way to go. In Austin we have numerous non-profits that will drive up to your house and take your stuff away for you. It's easy to bless others with your stuff because let's face it, you don't need a bacon press with a pig on it!


I've donated stuff to these charities, among others:
The Salvation Army (they run a rehab as well as a shelter)
Texas Paralyzed Veterans
The ARC of Texas
Goodwill (don't pick up as far as I know)


Book donations--most thrift stores/charities take them, but a great choice is your local library. Books either go into the collection or can be sold to raise money. If not, then they tend to have book recycling available. We also have a local charity, Inside Books, that sends paperback books to prisoners.


My favorite donation was giving a rarely used wooden chessboard to my friend who owns a hostel in Colorado. She said it got tons of use right away! The idea of guests playing chess on it makes me happy. She also took some houseplants off my hands.


More Disposal Options
A paper option that I wish I had heard of sooner: paper shredding services! It took that same hostel-owner friend to tell me that I could get huge amounts of paper shredded for a $40-$50 minimum. After a big sort for important documents, I absolutely needed this service. My relatives never used such services, explaining why they stored life insurance statements from the 1950s. Unless you plan a huge, safe, and legal bonfire, shredding is essential.


As a last but tacky resort, you can always put stuff on the curb. (This depends on the vibe of your neighborhood.) Then you can have fun seeing how fast your stuff disappears. Thanks to my neighbor for the visual reminder today. A neighbor across the street has had most of his items disappear, but no one wants a box of random clothes. We've put out larger items like chairs--we later found out our friend down the street grabbed one. Once even a broken garden tiller got snapped up--the guy who grabbed it figured he could fix it. You never know with the curb game.


If you can't even get to the point of parting with stuff yet, or if it's just too overwhelming, here's a bit of advice for knowing what to keep and what to sell or donate:


It's okay to keep some sentimental items, especially if they remind you of a lost loved-one. But if you don't love an item or plan to use it, chances are the item is better off being used by someone else who's excited about it. As they say, go bless someone else with your stuff! I still have some of my dad's books, but I recently posted his copy of Kings of Texas on paperbackswap.com. I am convinced the new owner is much more interested in reading that book than I will ever be! If you are grieving, parting with a loved-one's belongings could be a long process. Over time, you might find you are more willing to part with items that were loved by the person but just aren't fitting into your life today.


If you're letting your relatives choose your furniture style or decor for you rather than moving forward with your own tastes, then you might get stuck thinking the sensible thing is to just use what you have. After all, that's thrifty! I have been pretty overwhelmed by the amount of furniture I was left, and yes, I have lived with it too long because it's easy and practical to leave it. As time goes on, I realize my style (Pottery Barn) isn't my family's style, and frankly, I know my dad would say that a woman gets the final say on what her home looks like. Over time I plan to replace most of the pieces I inherited--I think some of remaining pieces will do well at auction, a consignment store, or craigslist. And I have plenty of other items, photos, and memories of my family so that I can move forward without fearing I'm getting rid of too much when I clear things out.


I will say that I have learned a lot from organizational gurus like the Fly Lady, Peter Walsh, and Julie Morgenstern. And without watching Clean Sweep or Hoarders, I probably wouldn't have had any idea what to do first! (We didn't have unsanitary conditions, but we had some serious antique and book hoarding to deal with.) So many resources are out there--what I've shared is what I have learned, internalized, and experienced. I'm no feng-shui master and I have a long way to go, but I never learned this stuff growing up, so I'm in process.