Sweet Moral Support

At brunch today a sweet, wise friend repeatedly offered to help me deal with my house-clearing/dehoarding stuff. She thinks I need to get it off my plate so I can move forward in other areas of my life. And yeah, the Fly Lady says that once you clean up your house, you figure out what to do with your life. I believe it, but man, it's hard to get motivated! I still feel pretty overwhelmed a lot of the time.

But the kindness of this offer revved me up! I don't have tons of projects that I can easily delegate to kind friends, but just the offer lifted me up some and reminded me that summer does not last forever...I might as well use the time to knock out some lingering clutter and make some posts on craigslist. I still have furniture to sell and an old computer lurking in the closet. I think I might still have my dad's tall camo snake boots. If I am really scared of snakes biting me in the country, then I need to get my own boots, right? Haven't used them in the last five years...probably not going to use them in the next five. Thrift store 'em. And those six or more boxes of Grandma's travel slides? I'm sorry, Earth, but 'tis the landfill for them. I can't mail them out to some artist. That's getting ridiculous. I've tried to be green most of the time, but at some point, it's the landfill or my garage. (And no, I'm not going to view them. I've seen enough paper photos to get the idea. She practically went everywhere but Antarctica and the North Pole.) All this verve and brainstorming just from a kind friend's insistence that I let her know in the next few weeks if I might need her help. 

As far as accepting friends' help, I'd say be careful. You don't want to strain a relationship with the tension of power struggles and "I don't think you should keep this" arguments. Yuck. When I did use a professional organizer twice, she clearly let me make most of the decisions as part of her method. She'd literally hold stuff up and look at me and ask, "Keep, toss, donate?" or something like that. Occasionally she'd voice her opinion, but it's important to feel that you are making decisions about your stuff. I appreciated that respect and freedom. I still needed her left-brained help and jump-starting organizational systems, but no, I don't want some Martha Stewart dictator coming in and shaming me into some method or process. And as the organizer said, it's better to NOT have a friend come in to do serious organizing. Not that it's a rule 100% of the time. I might take my sweet friend up on her offer if the project seems right. But as I look at the project as a giant, massive elephant, no, the entire thing is not a group project. However, it's not something to be done alone! We need people to help us in our struggles. Perhaps it's judging when to ask for help and who to invite in at the right times. (Side note: I once felt like my privacy was violated when a well-meaning friend decided to clean up my house while she was house-sitting. I felt like she must have looked at everything. No thank you!)

Anyways, I've been playing a lot of Bejeweled on the couch instead of remembering that taking care of my house will help clear my thinking about other parts of my life....so, some Bejeweled is okay, but it won't take long to post some stuff on eBay and craigslist either to get a better payoff  that will lead to more fun and lightness down the road...