This is one of my more random posts, but...
I have a broken ironing board. I also have a small city trash bin that saves me some money. This ironing board won't fit into the bin.
I also hate the idea of trashing a hunk of metal. So I was quite happy to hear today that Goodwill will take most broken items for recycling. Ironing boards, TVs, etc. Just not baby stuff, like cribs. I read that thrift stores recycle a large amount of their donations, including clothing, but I always heard it was an insult to give them items that belong in the trash. I guess times have changed and it's okay to bring in my broken ironing board. So green and so convenient.
Saturday, February 15, 2014
Saturday, February 8, 2014
How Long to Keep Papers...and Ghosts of Deeds Past
Today I helped a friend pack some boxes for a move, and as we stood around chatting with his coworker, how long to keep paperwork came up. I know I've shared that I found insurance bills from the 1950s in the garage, so I feel strongly about this topic. Not that I am perfect myself, but letting things go 50+ years is a way to invite unkind sentiments from your surviving family.
When you google "how long to keep papers," a government site comes up--Managing Household Records. It's not the most exciting topic, but as I told friends today, when it comes to taxes, you just need your papers from 7 years ago and up...and with other stuff, you can chuck it annually or sooner or, if it's incredibly important (will, deed, etc.), you should check a guide to decide how long you should keep it.
Deeds are another funny topic to me--I found deeds from the 1930s and earlier! My relatives just never thought to dispose of them, maybe rightly so--as long as they still owned the property, they needed to keep the deed. (Also funny how never letting go of papers seems to be inherited! Martha Stewarts we ain't.) While it's been interesting to see where people lived, I felt good parting with the "more recent" deeds of my grandparents, ranging from the 1960s and up. Occasionally I thought, gee, maybe I should keep these as a historical record of where they lived! It could be interesting, like when you watch those genealogy TV shows like NBC's Who Do you Think You Are? or Finding Your Roots on PBS. When those guests find out what Great-Grandfather did for a living and where he lived, it's super interesting and surprising. (And yes, the U.S. Census provides great information.) But, I realized when it comes to my storing old deeds and other papers in a shoebox under my bed...that's more history than I need to keep in my space and haul around. (And while I don't totally believe in feng shui, apparently keeping stuff under the bed is bad for chi. And for your sleep.) Perhaps I would never make a great guest on one of those TV shows--I know too much and it wouldn't be very exciting or suspenseful! Maybe a few hundred years back would get good.
Yes, I kept a few of my great-grandfather's typesetters' union membership cards--and I confess I learned about a relative I knew nothing about via her death certificate and some deeds. Thank you for cluttering, relatives--it has been interesting to learn about my great-great-aunt who owned a cafe near the coast. But they could have seriously pared it down. It took a lot of energy to sort the interesting from the expendable. So yes, save a few items and tidbits worthy of historical preservation. But keeping all 10+ union membership cards and every deed this family ever signed? No. Not worth it. Not with ancestry.com and all the other folks out there who have done research now available online. My grandmother herself was a genealogy nut and did some great research considering there was no Internet--her info often matches what I find online. But unless we lose the Internet forever, it's safe to let go of some of her notes and the various papers mentioned--it's time to get busy living! What a lovely relief.
When you google "how long to keep papers," a government site comes up--Managing Household Records. It's not the most exciting topic, but as I told friends today, when it comes to taxes, you just need your papers from 7 years ago and up...and with other stuff, you can chuck it annually or sooner or, if it's incredibly important (will, deed, etc.), you should check a guide to decide how long you should keep it.
Deeds are another funny topic to me--I found deeds from the 1930s and earlier! My relatives just never thought to dispose of them, maybe rightly so--as long as they still owned the property, they needed to keep the deed. (Also funny how never letting go of papers seems to be inherited! Martha Stewarts we ain't.) While it's been interesting to see where people lived, I felt good parting with the "more recent" deeds of my grandparents, ranging from the 1960s and up. Occasionally I thought, gee, maybe I should keep these as a historical record of where they lived! It could be interesting, like when you watch those genealogy TV shows like NBC's Who Do you Think You Are? or Finding Your Roots on PBS. When those guests find out what Great-Grandfather did for a living and where he lived, it's super interesting and surprising. (And yes, the U.S. Census provides great information.) But, I realized when it comes to my storing old deeds and other papers in a shoebox under my bed...that's more history than I need to keep in my space and haul around. (And while I don't totally believe in feng shui, apparently keeping stuff under the bed is bad for chi. And for your sleep.) Perhaps I would never make a great guest on one of those TV shows--I know too much and it wouldn't be very exciting or suspenseful! Maybe a few hundred years back would get good.
Yes, I kept a few of my great-grandfather's typesetters' union membership cards--and I confess I learned about a relative I knew nothing about via her death certificate and some deeds. Thank you for cluttering, relatives--it has been interesting to learn about my great-great-aunt who owned a cafe near the coast. But they could have seriously pared it down. It took a lot of energy to sort the interesting from the expendable. So yes, save a few items and tidbits worthy of historical preservation. But keeping all 10+ union membership cards and every deed this family ever signed? No. Not worth it. Not with ancestry.com and all the other folks out there who have done research now available online. My grandmother herself was a genealogy nut and did some great research considering there was no Internet--her info often matches what I find online. But unless we lose the Internet forever, it's safe to let go of some of her notes and the various papers mentioned--it's time to get busy living! What a lovely relief.
Monday, January 27, 2014
The Antiques Road Show is Coming....
It's finally happening. A few years too late for me in some ways, but still, it's exciting. If you have possibly valuable furniture, you can contact PBS' appraisal road show and maybe hear the cha-ching sound when some expert tells you what it's worth. Or you can just enter the drawing for tickets and enjoy all the old stuff from Texas homes. And from what I have seen, Texans have got some pretty interesting old stuff laying around. To see the 2014 tour locations, check out the show's site and then apply for tickets--for Austin, the deadline is in April. (I might send in some photos of some items, but I'd be happy to just attend.) This truly is one of the happier ways you could declutter.
Thursday, January 9, 2014
The Garage Returns, and Happiness in 2014
I haven't written here in a while...
I have some tiny bits of info. Shred day got rained out so I now have two boxes of papers sitting in my trunk...I think the next free shred day is in March. I'm stubborn and frugal enough to hold out because shredding service seem to run about $40 for small jobs here. Maybe the desperation to be rid of boxes will get me to cough up one day, but geesh!
Tonight I grabbed a few small boxes from the garage and was amused and dismayed (as usual) to find:
Pretty typical! The garage is much easier to tackle in cooler weather, so I should consider a weekly visit and sorting in there this winter.
Traveling in an airport last year, I bought Gretchen Rubin's The Happiness Project, where each month she tries out common self-help habits to see if they really make here life happier. It became a bestseller, and I confess I only read a few chapters so far, but she does tackle the "organize your home" habit. She mentions that not many studies have been done relating decluttering to happiness, but the common knowledge out there is that cleaning up will lead to less stress. Hmm. If anything, I'd say having a to-do list hanging over your head--as in, get rid of a bunch of stuff--does cause stress, and as I slowly but surely unload things, I do feel some triumph and like I'm moving on with life. The more time goes on, the more I want just my own stuff--not the stuff of relatives--hanging around my home. And aesthetically, I am tired of seeing the stuff. I am still surprised (but not) by the little random items I find--and as amusing as it can be, here's hoping I can part with many of these things in 2014.
I have some tiny bits of info. Shred day got rained out so I now have two boxes of papers sitting in my trunk...I think the next free shred day is in March. I'm stubborn and frugal enough to hold out because shredding service seem to run about $40 for small jobs here. Maybe the desperation to be rid of boxes will get me to cough up one day, but geesh!
Tonight I grabbed a few small boxes from the garage and was amused and dismayed (as usual) to find:
- A box of my great-grandmother's letters, postcards, and Christmas cards, the Christmas cards mostly from 1967--when stamps were four or five cents. I wish there was a market for canceled stamps, but I haven't really found much info saying it's worth finding buyers. I will say the retro Christmas cards are kinda cool--and many are the size and shape of a business envelope. Sadly, I doubt the thrift store will take used cards. I'm sure some art student would like them, but...it's a lot of trouble to find said art student.
- A box of quail and duck shells from 1985.
- Hand grip exercisers. (Ouch! Never could use those.)
- Walnut grabber pick thingies--what are they called?
- A dusty turtle and frog figurine.
- A relative's paperwork from 2002.
- A cool retro metallic but beat up measuring tape.
Pretty typical! The garage is much easier to tackle in cooler weather, so I should consider a weekly visit and sorting in there this winter.
Traveling in an airport last year, I bought Gretchen Rubin's The Happiness Project, where each month she tries out common self-help habits to see if they really make here life happier. It became a bestseller, and I confess I only read a few chapters so far, but she does tackle the "organize your home" habit. She mentions that not many studies have been done relating decluttering to happiness, but the common knowledge out there is that cleaning up will lead to less stress. Hmm. If anything, I'd say having a to-do list hanging over your head--as in, get rid of a bunch of stuff--does cause stress, and as I slowly but surely unload things, I do feel some triumph and like I'm moving on with life. The more time goes on, the more I want just my own stuff--not the stuff of relatives--hanging around my home. And aesthetically, I am tired of seeing the stuff. I am still surprised (but not) by the little random items I find--and as amusing as it can be, here's hoping I can part with many of these things in 2014.
Thursday, December 5, 2013
Holiday Care for Stress and Loss
Sorry for that unhappy title, but the focus is on good self-care and stress reduction. Most people have heard of holiday stress. And while I have not suffered a loss of anyone close to me for a few years, the holidays are when I and many people feel grief bubbling up as our memories of yearly traditions surface. And it's so random sometimes! I was at the grocery store around Thanksgiving and with all the seasonal foods in view, I suddenly remembered holiday grocery trips to Albertson's with my dad. It was sad but sweet. It wasn't the type of grief to bowl me over, but when we lose important people, the grief will cycle back from time to time.
I do know some folks who've recently lost people, and I sent them a good blog post about holiday self-care for the bereaved titled Six tips for getting through the holidays with grief by author Sameet Kumar, PhD. Even if you just find the holidays (and your family) stressful, the tips Kumar gives are quite solid and helpful. (I could so benefit from working out more in this season!) Kumar explains, "Most of the people I've worked with over the years find that no matter when their loss occurred, the spiral path of grief tends to circle back to very difficult emotions around the holidays. . . The holidays are stressful under even ideal circumstances. In the context of grief, they can feel absolutely terrifying. There's not much you can do to skip them, so you might as well find a way to get through them as healthy as you can. Grief sometimes feels like a battlefield; the holidays are grief's bootcamp. The goal of getting through this time of year is to not only endure but to grow into a sense of resilience." Well said. His tips would help anyone struggling this season, not just with bereavement but with any stressor or void. Holiday resilience sounds like a good goal--and I still plan to have some fun.
For anyone looking to read more of Kumar's work, he wrote a good book called Grieving Mindfully--it is probably the most helpful book I read on mourning. The "mindful" approach is to be accepting and non-judgemental of whatever feelings come up, assuming that they will not last forever. The idea is that most feelings, negative or positive, simply exist and are temporary--and resisting them can actually cause them to hang around longer. And they'll come out later anyways--we're human and can't avoid them entirely. Combine mindfulness with compassion and self-care, and that's a recipe for resiliency. Strength and recovery don't come from an absence of grief but the ability to feel and experience and still bounce back, over and over. It's become more normal for me, I'm happy to say, and learning how to grieve has helped me in other areas of my life. I guess it's one of the redeeming qualities or blessings of loss.
I do know some folks who've recently lost people, and I sent them a good blog post about holiday self-care for the bereaved titled Six tips for getting through the holidays with grief by author Sameet Kumar, PhD. Even if you just find the holidays (and your family) stressful, the tips Kumar gives are quite solid and helpful. (I could so benefit from working out more in this season!) Kumar explains, "Most of the people I've worked with over the years find that no matter when their loss occurred, the spiral path of grief tends to circle back to very difficult emotions around the holidays. . . The holidays are stressful under even ideal circumstances. In the context of grief, they can feel absolutely terrifying. There's not much you can do to skip them, so you might as well find a way to get through them as healthy as you can. Grief sometimes feels like a battlefield; the holidays are grief's bootcamp. The goal of getting through this time of year is to not only endure but to grow into a sense of resilience." Well said. His tips would help anyone struggling this season, not just with bereavement but with any stressor or void. Holiday resilience sounds like a good goal--and I still plan to have some fun.
For anyone looking to read more of Kumar's work, he wrote a good book called Grieving Mindfully--it is probably the most helpful book I read on mourning. The "mindful" approach is to be accepting and non-judgemental of whatever feelings come up, assuming that they will not last forever. The idea is that most feelings, negative or positive, simply exist and are temporary--and resisting them can actually cause them to hang around longer. And they'll come out later anyways--we're human and can't avoid them entirely. Combine mindfulness with compassion and self-care, and that's a recipe for resiliency. Strength and recovery don't come from an absence of grief but the ability to feel and experience and still bounce back, over and over. It's become more normal for me, I'm happy to say, and learning how to grieve has helped me in other areas of my life. I guess it's one of the redeeming qualities or blessings of loss.
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